From Here to There

My journey in fitness from here (not so good!) to there (woohooo!!)

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

What a Day

Thanks for your kind words. It means a lot, considering the lousy self-obsessed blog friend I've been. Thank you :)))

First where I left off yesterday. I cried until 2AM. I surfed Monster and Workopolis to see what's out there. Then I got angry. Then beyond angry to down right p.o.'d. By 6AM I got it out of my system (except for the odd case of weepies) and was ready to draft my action plan.

At 9AM I emailed the Manager who would have been my new Manager when my former boss left for a new role, had my team not split. We'll call him B to protect the innocent. I also emailed my Director. I wrote that I'd hadn't heard from my Manager regarding my status, but could only take this as a bad sign. She mentioned we'd all know our statuses by end of day Thursday, but I feared by then I'd have missed the boat. I listed the jobs I posted for, as well as a very brief outline of my skills, attached my resume, and asked for any help they might be able to give, since they may have greater visibility to any positions yet filled. I IMd my Manager and told her what I'd done to keep her in the loop.

At 9:15 I received an email from my Director asking me to apply for this job ASAP. Then my Mgr called me to tell me to do it right away. I then got from her, finally my status, and yes I was correct, I wasn't an incumbent, and unless I was offered something I would be redundant come Thursday. There would still be some hope, some fallout from jobs others declined, and some turnover, but that wouldn't shake out until I'd be on my notice period.

I applied for the job, and received an Outlook invitation from my Director for 11AM. I was a mess. My sister called to try to cheer me up and I told her that this was the third job I'd been laid off from, and I really didn't want cheering right now. I needed to focus. She understood, and told me to get to it! My brother called. Steve called. I now had an hour to prep. I was still a mess and trying to pull it together, thank goodness it was over the phone because I could fake a cold/stuffiness if needed!

My Director called at 11AM as planned, and asked me why I didn't apply for this job in the first place. I told him it was because I didn't have the certification that was required. He said 'No one has that!! That's the ideal". I told him "well it said required, and I had just signed off on my ethics certification and couldn't in good conscience lie". He told me he liked me even more. So we chatted about my current role, that I've been in for 18 months, and I mentioned that it was only 18 months so he asked about my previous jobs. I wowed him, I was a perfect fit for this job. He made me an offer!!! I thought i was going to pass out. What a roller coaster. To cap things off, it's a level higher than I currently am, so it's a promotion to boot! We were finished our interview at 11:17.

To go from notified to promoted within 90 minutes is crazy. I was stunned. Thrilled. Elated. And soooo sad. I love my current job, but I have a new opportunity now.

At 3:30 this afternoon I get a call from another Manager for another job I applied for. OH.MY.GOD. He asked if I was still interested and I said I would be except I accepted my current Director's posting this morning. He said he knew this because he had lunch with him (he currently reports to him) and he was asked how his hiring was going for his new job when he told him he had a handful left to call, and listed the names. My director told him that I had accepted his offer that morning, so this Manager said he'd take me off the list. My Director said "no go ahead. If you make her an offer, let her decide which is best for her career, and I'll let her off the hook". Wow, that's so descent!!

I think I'm going to get an offer from this Manager too. He seemed very impressed with my skills and asked me to make a choice then and there. I told him I needed to sleep on this. He'll call me tomorrow.

I went from nothing to potentially two jobs, both a level higher. INSANE.

I am so grateful. Someone was looking over me. The planets aligned. I really felt it wasn't my time to go, so I took what control I had and it worked out!

I have decided to stay with the Sr. BA job I accepted this morning. It's going to be more challenging and should the bottom fall out yet in the future yet again, is a much better job title and will offer greater opportunities than Tech Writer.

I am so blessed. I will pay this forward.

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Monday, November 26, 2007

FUBAR

Well it's not yet official, but it may as well be.

If you're an incumbent in one of the new roles in my org (your current job maps more than 50% to a role in the new org), you would be notified today/tomorrow. Several managers I know of have already told their teams those that are incumbents. And most are.

My manager told one person in my team, or maybe more but only one person has fessed up to it. Tomorrow begins the process of also letting the rest know if they either have a job offer from one of the new jobs that were posted, or whether they are laid off.

Since my manager has told at least one person she's an incumbent, and I had an IM chat with her at 4:45 this afternoon giving her ample opportunity to let me out of my misery, I can only guess that I'm let go. I applied to 6 postings equaling 26 actual new jobs. I didn't get one interview. Considering they went about this all wrong and over 100 people applied for each job, and my app may be low on the list and never looked at (who knows) or maybe my resume sucked (though it was professionally done... I don't think so), or my skills sucked (which I don't believe for a minute), I'm not holding out much hope. There is a small chance that when everything shakes out there will be some new vacancies for which I can apply and hope to get an interview for, but it's unlikely.

I cried all evening.

While I thought I was prepared for the worst, I guess deep down I thought I'd be ok.

My manager told me we'd all know where we stood by end of day Thursday.

I'm so sad. I love my job so much, and my team as well, but there's a good chance that most of us are toast, or shoved into new roles we hate.

One colleague who also doesn't yet know his fate noted that he's not sure he wants to be here anyway, working for an org that would do this to their employees (5 weeks of waiting and this crap), and in the end 20% reduction in staff, again entire teams wiped out, so whoever is left it's going to be hell for.

My sister keeps trying to cheer me up. I realized tonight while walking around the grocery store with tears streaming down my face that she's never lost a job. Since I graduated from university, every transition I made was due to a layoff. It sucks. It's done a number on my self-esteem. I am devastated.

Steve doesn't know what to do with himself. He's being supportive, trying to cheer me up, but I can't speak about it. I'm so stressed, all I can focus on is trying to find a new job now.

A miracle may yet happen, but it's very, very unlikely.

Had to get this out. Going back to curl into a ball again.

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Thursday, November 22, 2007

I'm glad we had thanksgiving already

because I wouldn't be able to eat anything if I lived in the U.S. :( However, it looks like Christmas is going to be good-food free too. Let the weight loss continue then.

I've been feeling pretty good all week, no acute pain, just a constant ache (feels like a bruise). Unfortunately, all day today it's more than an ache, it's a pretty darn unhappy gallbladder. No idea why - my fat intake has remained the same as the past few days, that is less than 12 g per day. Maybe I'm eating more, because my appetite started to come back a couple of days ago. I wish this pain would stop, I'm day 6 of 10 of my antibiotics. I thought I'd feel amazing by now.

Maybe it's my flu shot? I saw my GP yesterday, I didn't bother canceling my appt because I wanted to get a requisition for an x-ray on my foot. Since I'm not running, I may as well rehab this puppy. Anyhoodle, at the end of my appt I asked if it was ok to have a flu shot. So I got one. Within 15 mins I had a big lump in my throat and felt woozy. They had me lie down, and took my BP - 168/100. Hmmm... that's not good! They repeated the BP another 5 times with the machine, and my average was 140/80. Still not great, but I really wanted out of there. They didn't think I was reacting to the shot, the doc thinks it was Vasovagal Syncope, um ok. Of course I googled it when I got home and discovered it's a fancy word for fainting. Hahahahah! I don't think it was though, my throat was weird and my tongue furry all afternoon, and by 3PM I was weezing pretty badly. It went away by evening. I think I reacted a little to the shot. Greaaaaaat. And today my arm hurts like a mofo! My daughter had a doc appt today, and had her flu shot. She didn't react, though I noticed that she coughed a lot this afternoon (she worked from home today) and she mentioned at dinner that it was odd too. Of course her arm doesn't hurt. But she didn't shovel a foot of snow from the laneway tonight either!

Happy Thanksgiving to my friends to the south! I spent the day on modified sick leave, it's not too busy because the U.S. is off, so I watched the Hitchcock film fest on AMC. Woot!

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Saturday, November 17, 2007

Tagged

I don’t know how many games of tag I played as a kid - tons. Now I’ve been caught in a blog tag! Here are the Rules:

  • Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
  • Share 5 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
  • Tag 3 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
  • Let them know they are TAGGED by leaving a comment on their blog.

My tagger: Karen - All Downhill From Here

  1. I have freaky kidneys. They aren't in my back, one is at the front bottom right, the others under my left rib. Yes, others, because the left one is also a duplex (2 kidneys stuck together), of which one is working fine, the right one, is twisted and blocked. I don't have to do anything unless it causes me grief. Which it hasn't!
  2. The pinky on my left hand is missing a muscle. It's crooked like a claw (but a dainty one thank you very much!) and can only be straightened if I pull it out with my right hand. This is a dominant female gene on my Mom's side, she had it, her sisters had it, my female cousins have it, and so does my daughter!
  3. I can't burp. My sister thinks it's because I was born in the year of the horse. They can't burp either. And they have great hair (which she says I do as well... thanks Anne ;))
  4. I'll talk to anyone and everyone. Drives my family/friends nuts... they step away and come back a minute later and I'm deep in conversation with some dude on the street, cashier, cop, doesn't matter. And yet I still talk in my sleep.
  5. I have an addiction to plasticware. Tupperware, gladware, ziploc, doesn't matter. It's a sickness.

Now to tag a few more folks: Tory, *jeanne*, Dawn

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Friday, November 16, 2007

This not only blows, but it bites

Karen gave me a nudge to post something, and a tag, but the tag is going to wait until I can think straight.

My gut has been killing me the past 10 days. Agony. Same thing happened two weeks before that, they chalked it up to severe acid reflux (way too much work stress... do I keep my job? won't know until the week of the 26th), so we upped my Pariet and I felt better.

Then last Monday WHAM. Agony. Can't lie down, can't sit, pacing feels the best. LONG nights. This time it didn't go away so I went back to the doctor on Thursday last week, and was given a requisition for bloodwork and an ultrasound. Looking like gallbladder, pancreas or liver. Got Percocet to help with the pain. It still hurts like hell when I take it, but I don't care as much.

So yesterday I woke up and felt AMAZING. I saw my doc, he still didn't have the blood results yet, so he called for them. Glucose is high but everything else was ok. Strange, I had the glucose tolerance test in the spring and it was perfect. Have to take the test over, and he added a few more.

Today was ultrasound day. Thankfully it was at the hospital. My gut came back with a vengeance at 11AM. I was fasting, including water, and thought it would be best not to take Percocet. Once my 2:30 ultrasound was over, holy crap, that hurt too, I was told the doctor had a look at the pictures and my gallbladder is inflamed so go straight to emerg.

Within less than an hour I was in a bed, 15 minutes later with a doc. Severe gallbladder inflamation, full of stones. GREAT. Apparently I fit the profile of the 5 Fs: Fat, Female, Forty, Fertile and Fair.

The popped in the IV needle, took blood, gave me a shot of morphine and gravol, and I waited. BTW, Percocet is way better than morphine. My sister arrived and stayed with me. We chatted for another 90 mins. The surgeon came to see me, and apparently, I am too sick to be operated on. :(

My gallbladder is such a mess that it would be too risky, and they would not be able to do it laparoscopally (sp) through my navel, but would have to do it the old fashioned way. He wouldn't risk it.

So now I'm on Percocet as needed (but he doubled the dose) and a killer antibiotic. I have to call him on Monday to book an appt for 2 weeks from now to see how I'm doing, and schedule a surgery for 6-8 weeks from now. Hopefully by then my GB will have settled down, and I'll be able to have the laparoscopic procedure, but it's likely it's going to be the old fashioned way if it doesn't unblock by then.

I'm really really tired of this, but relieved that it's something. And relieved that some day in the future I won't have to stay away from any fancy foods (anything out of the ordinary has consequences), and can eat out without worry! This pain has been around for 5 years, but that was the early stage.

I wish it could have come out tonight. Oh well, I'm thankful that my pancreas wasn't affected. I don't want to mess around with that.

Running - ya right :(

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